I recently saw another Facebook post that “called out” people who are negative on Facebook. As a result, it occurred to me that through comments and posts like that we are turning the world’s greatest opportunity for transparency, honesty and authenticity into a watered down highlight reel, and I fear that this version of reality is unhealthy.
It’s not all sunshine and rainbows.
None of us like to see the negativity in our social streams, we’d all rather be entertained or inspired. We all dislike the vague statements that indicate something is wrong, we’d prefer to fix problems or ignore it. But if we remove the real life struggles from our sharing, aren’t we only getting half the story? The truth is that even for the most bright eyed and bushy tailed among us, life is hard, business is hard, relationships are hard…it’s not all parties and motivational quotes. Sometimes people get sad, sometimes we get overwhelmed…sometimes things aren’t great.
Part of what I enjoy about writing on this particular blog is that I feel a greater sense of openness and honesty than I do on other blogs that I write. That’s not to say that I’m not honest or open on other sites that I write, but rather than I am more selective about what I share. This blog is my professional (quasi-personal) journal. It’s where I record things I learn, things I struggle with, things I’ve overcome. What I like about it, is that I’ve made the deliberate choice to be vulnerable (at times), and yes, it is scary as shit to be vulnerable.
Vulnerability is more than ok
There is a difference between pessimism and vulnerability so don’t mistake what I’m about to say as a call for negativity. However, I am encouraging all of us to have a greater tolerance for the unremarkable, the scared, the upset, and the real. Vulnerability, if you have ever seen Brene Brown’s incredible TedTalk is actually essential to happiness, being comfortable with yourself, and maintaining deep relationships. Vulnerability allows other to get beneath the surface level talks of how “everything is fantastic,” and buzzy one liners about “crushing it.”
Because the truth is, we’ve all been there; we’ve all been scared, lonely, overwhelmed, and angry. Not a single one of us can truly relate to someone that has never felt those emotions.
So, instead of condemning those people who are going through a rough patch, try just being there for them. We don’t need to turn Facebook and Twitter into group therapy, but certainly don’t need to make it a public shaming either.
And if you haven’t seen Brene Brown’s TedTalk, watch it below: